Tweet Roundup | This Week's Funniest Tweets About God Creating Stuff
[God creating cat]God: make it furry, sees at night, makes cute sound when it’s happyAngel: sounds like a good pet.God: and shits in a box]Angel: little odd, but cleanliness is next to Go...God: and hates things on counters. #original
— Troy Fatout (@teeroy99) February 5, 2019
[God creating the Ocean]God: Just put water everywhere 💧Angel: Nice! When they are thirsty they can...God: ..Make it undrinkable 🌚
— UGLIEST FINE DADDY †🕊 (@skizyman) February 7, 2019
god [creating the grapefruit]: another citrusangel: like a lime?g: biggera: a lemon?g: biggera: an orange?g: i said biggera: sweeter too?g: no like battery acid and shartsa: poison so they don't eat it?g: no make it the healthiest one
— Kellen Degenerate🎙 (@kellenbrent) February 9, 2019
god creating me and adding fat pic.twitter.com/ncfXMHVaWJ
— emma ♡ (@problemathicccc) February 9, 2019
*Creating bees*God: Make then highly beneficial to the ecosystemAngel: Sure thing, bossGod: Give them the greatest knees of all time
— Krispy Memes Boi (@memes_krispy) February 5, 2019
[creating babies]God: Make them tiny and fragile and defenseless, with weak immune systems.Angel: Um OK ...God: And make it their first instinct to put their mouths on shopping carts.
— Patches (@Mostly_Cheese) February 3, 2019
God (creating reindeer): I'm going to make them look like weird cows with trees on their heads.Angel: What about the power of flight?God: Not a chance, but feel free to start a rumour.
— Oonagh (@Okeating) December 9, 2018
*god creating me*God: and make him look like this *shows picture*Angel: wow.. that’s kind of mean... can we at least give him a good personality?God: no
— Beans After Dark (@goodbeanalt) December 5, 2018
[creating the scrotum]God: Just think of it as a couple of avocado pits rolling around in a hairy, semi-deflated balloon.Angel: Is there any way I can get moved to another department?
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) November 19, 2018
[creating humans]God: a brain, so they’ll be able to make smart and rational decisions.Angel: okGod: and a heart, so they can fall in love with each other.Angel: ok..and they’ll be able to use both at the same time right?God: lmao oh hell no
— Spanky McDutcherson 🔸 (@thatdutchperson) February 8, 2019
God Creating Hamsters:Angel: We’re out of material.God: Hold on… *pulls some lint out of his pocket* Make this alive.Angel: Okay.God: Make it adorable so everyone wants five.Angel: Got it.God: But they hate each other and they kill each other on sight.Angel: Uhhh…
— Reece Bridger (@Reece_Bridger) February 11, 2019
[god creating the kiwi]God: I want a bird.Angel: ok.... another one?God: this one is special.Make it brown. And small.Angel: riiiiiight.God: and give it a really big nose.And it can't fly.Angel: nice!!!
— Andrew Johnson (@mrandrewhj) February 9, 2019
god creating black holes pic.twitter.com/QSNAoZVAQv
— micah ♡ (@MICAHKEALE) February 11, 2019
*Creating wasps*God: Make them angry, and with unlimited stings, unlike those useless bees.Angel: That sounds dangerousGod: There needs to be 20,000...Angel: oH NOGod: ...different speciesAngel: Are you feeling okay?God: Make some of them parasitic.
— Johnny Dady (@lovin44music) February 10, 2019
[God Creating Chickens]God: I want two things1. Worlds best tasting bird2. People to wonder why it crossed the road
— Notsofunny (@Notsofu14392964) February 10, 2019