Tweet Roundup | This Week's Funniest "Therapist: No." Jokes
Therapist: and what do we say when we feel this way?
Me: don’t be sad. Because sad spelled backwards is das. And das not good.
Therapist: *taking notes* can I use that— Parker (@ParkerHousandd) July 24, 2019
Therapist: ...and what do we say when we feel like this?
Me: ...um.......um....LINE
Stage Manager: IT DOESN’T DEFINE ME AS A PERSON
Me: It doesn’t define me as a person.
Therapist: You have to stop bringing Stage Managers to these sessions.— Max Grossman (@GrossmanMax) July 24, 2019
therapist: and what do we do when we feel sad
me: buy books
therapist: well, ok— B&N Alpharetta (@BN_Alpharetta) July 24, 2019
My therapist: be mindful of the language you use with yourself.
Me: ... pic.twitter.com/GpwQO0a9rc— Rhian (@rhian_hy) July 24, 2019
Therapist: "And what do we say when we feel like this?"
Me: "My illness is chronic but my tits are iconic"
Therapist: "No"— Lana Del Gay 🏳️🌈👻 (@McClellandShane) July 23, 2019
therapist: what do we do when we feel like this??????
me: make memes/share them with the world
therapist: no
me: eat my weight in food
therapist: no
me: find comfort in past toxic relationships because they feel familiar
therapist: you're mocking me aren't you
me: no— follow me only if youre sad (@peedekaf) July 23, 2019
therapist : and what do we do when we feel like this
me : move to greece and fuck 3 guys and communicate through abba songs
therapist : - no— ;) rebecca (@badbitchstreep) July 23, 2019
Therapist: and how does that make you feel?
Me: I am not very good at describing my emotions,maybe you could just hold up a bunch of meme pictures until i see one that i would normally comment the word "mood" on?— Nooreldeen Tareef (@Noor_tareef) July 23, 2019
therapist: and what do we do when we’re sad?
me: add to cart?
therapist: no.— ♥ (@auras) July 22, 2019
Therapist: Now, what do we do when we feel like this?
Me: *ripping open shirt to reveal a heart painted on my belly* CARE BEAR STARE!
Therapist: No— Twin Dad (@TwinSurvivalist) July 22, 2019
therapist: and what do we say when we feel like this?
me: my depression is likely tied to capitalist alienation which leads to meaninglessness and isolation.
therapist: shit I never thought of it like that.— bernardo canto (@petcrierbonanza) July 22, 2019
therapist: and what do we do when we are sad?
me: tjmaxx
therapist: no
me: tjmaxx but on clearance— shell🍍 (@shelleyfischerr) July 22, 2019
therapist: and what do we do when we’re sad?
me: order bubble wrap
therapist: no pic.twitter.com/mouptxiccH— Jeremy Caisip (@jeremycaisip) July 21, 2019
therapist: and what do we do when we are sad?
me: apologize continuously to everyone I have a conversation with
therapist: no
me: sorry— Natalie Bartine 🏳️🌈 (@BartineNatalie) July 20, 2019
therapist: and what do we do when we are hurt by someone?
me: *plays Truth Hurts*
therapist: exactly. They could’ve had a bad bitch.— Jay🤠 (@jay_alisabeth) July 20, 2019