I'm attaching googly eyes to every gem on my daughter's princess tiara for Halloween. There's no reason for it really, she's going as a fairy princess.
— Ｍｏｍｚｉｌｌａ (@milliondollrfam) October 25, 2019
Parent: If you didn't have candy you could have just said soMe: *scooping hummus into kids' candy buckets* Really, it’s no problem.
— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) October 25, 2019
My 6yo is going to be a half angel/half devil for Halloween and I’ve never seen a more self-aware costume choice.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) October 25, 2019
This is the greatest halloween costume I have ever seen in my life! 😂 😂 😂(Via https://t.co/buSJCXFFjj) pic.twitter.com/HiKh2J1FvZ
— Eddie Zipperer (@EddieZipperer) October 25, 2019
Easily one of the best Halloween costumes of all time pic.twitter.com/cbqOqmOKXt
— Josh Jordan (@NumbersMuncher) October 25, 2019
Mugger: Hand over the jewelry!Me: *hands him two bracelets and a necklace*Mugger: These are made of candy.
— the drake gatsBOO 👻🎃 (@DrakeGatsby) October 25, 2019
if you want to find out what people really think of you in the harshest way possible, just wear your regular clothes to a halloween party and let strangers guess what your costume is
— jack wagner (@jackdwagner) October 25, 2019
Every year I wonder, do I have enough goodies. #Halloween pic.twitter.com/aBvb34IiqM
— joan cooke (@joancooke5) October 25, 2019
Me: Ok, kids, dump your candy out so we can begin tradingKids: Please no, you make it not funMe: Nonsense! I'm totally fun[ 5 minutes later ]Me, smoking a cigar: Two Smarties for a full-size Snickers? You think this is a game, Brylen? Get the fuck outta here, you worm
— SerenAAAHHHHH!!!! (@kidnapped_jesus) October 25, 2019
7-year-old: *puts on witch hat*Me: You can't wear your costume right now.7: It's not a costume.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 25, 2019
Handing out candy for Halloween:- cliche- expensive- trash all over your lawn- too many knocks on the doorHanging a beehive:- hip- eco-friendly- rewards bravery- zero knocks
— tomb slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) October 25, 2019
[trick or treating]neighbor: aren't you a little old to be doing this?me: I'm a small child, this is just a really convincing tired mom costume
— Spook Ankles (@ankles_so_weak) October 25, 2019
her: I can’t believe you’ve eaten all the Halloween candyme: it’s not October 31 so it’s just candyher: either way you’re not leaving the store until you’ve paid for it
— Funkenstein (@FU_TangClan) October 25, 2019
The problem with Halloween when you're a pumpkin. pic.twitter.com/xjIrZXWcGz
— Art Young (@outpostart) October 25, 2019
[house burning down]me: oh no I can’t believe it’s gonefirefighter: was this your home?me: this was the house that gave out full size candy bars
— unhuman aaron (@humanaaron) October 25, 2019