Tweet Roundup | The Best of #DadQuotes
My dad is notorious for never knowing what things are actually called... One time he asked us how he can post something for sale on Doug's Corner. He meant Craigslist #DadQuotes
— Miranda Villei Stepp (@MirandaVillei) June 12, 2019
My dad always says to me- “it’s better to have hope in your soul than soap in your hole” 😂 #DadQuotes
— Emily Thomas (@emilymichelle_t) June 12, 2019
One time my dad sent me a text with these emojis, "💩🐻" I thought he was trying to call me Pooh Bear. When I saw him later though he made sure to correct me, "NO, I was calling you a shit head!" #DadQuotes
— Aubrey West (@AubreyLWest95) June 12, 2019
When someone asks my dad what he thinks about anything, he says "Well, a big bowl of flour makes a great big biscuit." #DadQuotes
— Living Out Of Context (@context_living) June 12, 2019
#DadQuotes as a kid, if someone didn’t move at a green light he would always shout “which shade of green are you waiting on?”
— David Wantroba (@Dig4Wax) June 12, 2019
Sitting on the couch watching TV with my dad, and he'd (regularly) say, "Hey, you want a drink?" "Yeah, sure!" "Great, get me one while you're up." #DadQuotes
— Tracy Simek (@TracySimek) June 12, 2019
#DadQuotes My dad got stuck between two of his go-to phrases, "Good grief" and "Oh, bologna," and said "Good bologna" in an irritated voice one day. Instant classic.
— Melissa Kennedy (@ZuZuToo3) June 12, 2019
#DadQuotes When I was is my early 20's, I was dating a very controlling narcissist. When I vented to my Dad about the insane stuff this guy did, he told me "no one needs two a$$holes." Indeed not!
— Kim Pacy (@PacyKim) June 12, 2019
I called my dad one time and said “hi dad!” He replied “who is this?”I’m an only child. #DadQuotes
— Christine Bennett (@christinemben) June 12, 2019
This morning my dad said “all inclusive” when trying to tell me we had everything bagels. From now on I shall refer to and only order “all inclusive bagels”. #dadquotes
— Alexandra Veintidós (@alex_andra22) June 11, 2019
#Dadquotes "Just got home. Sitting on the pot. I tell it like it is." Thanks for the update, Dad. 🚽🧻 pic.twitter.com/Wzf1iDqLUv
— Becky (@bexican75) June 12, 2019
Dad: you need a shaveMe: you need some just for men in that gray ass goateeDad: you need two razors for both of your chins😂😂 casual FaceTime calls with Jeff #shitjeffsays #dadquotes
— Baum.com (@brettjb13) December 11, 2018
“This Apple Watch needs a grass cutting workout mode so it can more accurately count my calories.” #DadQuotes
— Matt Cavanagh (@fortmattcav) June 11, 2018
My dad just said that he wanted to make some kind of Dirty martini/Moscow Mule hybrid so he could call it a dirty ass 😂😂 #DadQuotes
— Sami Stoltenberg (@SamiShe_Rex) November 23, 2017
My dad thinks there's one male artist who sings both 'Baby' and 'SexyBack.' He calls him, "Justin Bieberlake" #DadQuotes
— Mackenzie Nelson (@nelsonmackenzie) June 15, 2017