Rejuvenating Ways to Deal With Grief

Practicing rejuvenating ways to deal with grief is an odd concept. I write this as a trauma and grief recovery coach as Winter Solstice peeks around the corner. On the same day about a week ago, I mourned a grief anniversary and attended an actual funeral. By the beginning of January, I will do all of the suggestions contained in this article. Basically, I want you to know from the beginning of this article that I’m not going to “be all Pollyanna” about this. I know of what I speak, as a griever and as a mental health professional. And let me tell you, grief is thick in the winter time. I recently discovered that there are far more deaths in the winter months than during other times of the year, so if it seems like everyone is grieving during the holidays…they are. We are all mourning and remembering someone or something we have lost, a heavy undercurrent to the holiday season. I regularly talk and write about grief in public and on social media. To one of my posts, a friend replied, “Life is grief.” I sat with that for several days, and I appreciate the nature of Radical Acceptance, which is all I’m going to say about that for now. If indeed, “Life is grief,” and winter has an inordinate amount of death and loss, why not learn how to make some meaning from these experiences?

What Meaning Can We Get From Grief?

One of our primary functions as humans is to create meaning, especially from challenging experiences. I would say that grief qualifies as “challenging.”Grief stretches us beyond our comfort zones. If we allow the grieving process to change us, it will produce qualities that make us kinder, gentler people. Here are some of the qualities that I have experienced as I have allowed grief a place in my heart and life.

• Emotional maturity and intelligence
• Depth of spirit
• Empathy for others 
• Ebb and flow with the ups and downs of life
• Ability to live within and appreciation of the present moment
• Intuitive connection with the cycles of life and death

Rejuvenate While Grieving

Those are great growth results, not gonna lie. Also, knowing that we will benefit from surrendering to the grief process does not mitigate how terrible the whole thing can feel. Radical Acceptance, am I right?While we are going through the grief process - however long it takes - there are ways to make more meaning from them. To expend these big, hard (that’s what she said) feelings and energy instead of letting them spiral us into exhaustion. Here are winter activities that help center grief in meaningful ways.*Labyrinth walking and choosing an intention word for the year - Walking a labyrinth is a peaceful and meditative process that can be done on any day of the year. However, the veil is thin on days like Winter Solstice, and this practice is chock full of releasing and receiving energy. Release that which does not serve or needs to be let go. Receive goodness and set an intention for the coming year. *Lighting a candle & praying/remembering - We have a Catholic Grotto where I live, a meditative respite in the middle of the busy and bustling city. I love to go there during this time of year, not only for their annual light display, but also to light candles of remembrance and soothe my heart. *Creating an altar - There’s something about having a special place in my home for those who have passed on. The altar space is simple, containing special items from people and animals that I have loved and continue to love. In grief, love doesn’t stop. The relationship changes.*Gathering with others - At the funeral I went to a week(ish) ago, I sat with a friend of mine and asked her how she was feeling. She looked around at everyone from our shared community and said, “You know, we do this really well. We gather and celebrate. We gather and grieve." This reminded me how important it is - even in the cold and snow and wet weather - to gather with the warmth of other people who know and share what we are going through.*Helping out others like you - This is why I do what I do as a trauma and grief recovery coach. I spend my days working with people through tough trauma and grief experiences. Helping others - whether people or animals - gives us valuable perspective to our own grief and helps us redirect our energy and intentions. There’s nothing like it.Life is grief, and we are not meant to travel these roads alone. No matter what time of year.