I Want You to Be Happy
“I hope you’re happy.”Right now,right here,that’s not a sarcastic statement,though it often is –
Good for you.I hope you’re happy.
What does “happy” mean, anyway? –it’s used so oftenthat the word can be practicallymeaningless,and if we find ourselves in a tough placeand are trying to convince ourselves to staybecause we think we’re supposed to,“happy” can become an anchorthrowing us to the bottom of the sea,choking us,drowning us.Maybe throughout your life,people have told you not to ask for too much,so you might have this thought on repeat –
I’m happy enough, I guess.There’s probably nothing more,nothing better out therethan what I have here already.I should just be grateful.
Trust me when I say this –“happy enough” isn’t enough for you.You are an entire universein the form of a human body,ready to blossom and bring forthmore beauty and glory than anyone can fathom –including you.More than happy enough,I hope you’re happy.Foolishly happy.Deeply happy.Wildly happy.Comfortably happy.Calmly happy.And if you’re not there,you have not run out of timeto find your way.Kate Bowler cut straight to the soul in writing
“blessed are we when we yearn,yearn for connection and love and touch.blessed are we when we hunger for the beauty of life itself and the people to fill it…teach us to hold on to the truths that enliven our spirits and fill our souls,and loosen our grip on the painful untruths.like that we are alone, or unlovable. or that desire itself is the enemy…there will be no easy addition and subtraction.we will lose and we will gainand almost none of it will make much sense at the time…keep us awake.”
Seeking your own happinessmay cost you everything you have.Know that it will be worth it.Keep awake.It may come at the costof disappointing or even hurting others.Brainstorm tactful ways and do it anyway.Keep awake.It may come at the costof unlearning who you thought you wereand learning an entirely newway of being.Imagine a more expansive reality.Keep awake.The seeking will be disorientingand it will knock you over sometimes.Ask for loved ones’ hands to steady you.Keep awake.Please believe me when I saythat the disorientation(almost certainly)will pass.Give thanks in moments it does.Keep awake. There is no happiness more preciousthan yours.Own it; honor it; fight for it.Keep awake. In your keeping awakeor waking up for the first time,know in your bonesthat you are on your wayto a place worthy of all the troubleyou’ve faced –and maybe created –to get there.To get here.And “here” and “there” will change,dear one.They will shape shiftand surprise you.Sometimes they will frustrate youand sometimes they will delight you.Do not let them out of your sight.Keep awake. I cannot tell youthe path you will need to navigatein order to find and builddeeper happiness,real happiness.I cannot saywhat it will be likeor look like –nobody can or should.What I can sayis that there just might bebetter days aheadthan any you’re leaving behind.